A dog is for christmas

So, three months in, what's it like being first-time dog owners? Rosie The Labradoodle (RTL) is a bit of a handful. Example: on Sunday, some good friends came round for lunch. As I opened the door to them she went out. Nothing unusual about this, but then she bolted off down the road, round the corner, round another corner - I pegged it after her, terrified she'd be ploughed down by a car, and finally caught up with her. She'd remembered (this is my guess...) where there had been some ice cream spilled on the pavement from a walk a few hours previously, and was busy gobbling it up.

She wakes early every morning just before six and barks. One of us - and it is, I'm ashamed to admit, not usually me - goes down to her, lets her out and generally gives her the attention she demands until the rest of the house wake up.

She gets two good walks every day. On these walks she is mostly impeccably behaved, but sometimes knocks down young children and jumps up at fellow dog owners. She's now 18 kg, and six months old. Soon she'll be 'on heat' for the first time. Let's hope she doesn't mate with a pit bull or doberman - imagine that, a lethal, silly-looking dog. You laugh at it; it rips yer throat out. Nice.

During the evening she wants company, and is happiest sitting between us on the couch. She likes to lie my feet while we eat at the table. Just when we are settled for a few minutes she goes to the back door and barks once, which means she wants to go out. She barks when she wants to come back in again. She barks at the cats.

Oh, the cats - I forgot about them. RTL is still mind-blowingly obsessed by them, and clearly would like nothing better than to eat them - or at least, to try her best to eat them. She hasn't caught them yet, but it's not for want of trying. The youngest cat does suicide runs through the kitchen when he thinks RTL is half asleep. RTL stirs. Bark, Bark, Bark. Thudding of padded feet on kitchen floor. Cat flap slams sut. Skidding sound as dog tries to decelerate. Dull thud as dog hits kitchen units at speed. A couple of barks as if to say, 'don't come back'.

But I'm glad we got her. Sort of.